This is what we call triangulation: Person A (Will) has a problem with Person B (Jada), so they talk about that problem with Person C (Jaden). It happens in families and in organizations alike, and if these behaviors are common in your workplace, beware.

Triangulation can be so common in the workplace that we can fail to recognize it. During our 25 years of working with organizations, we’ve seen organizational cultures truly damaged by workplace negativity, and often the leaders in these companies have no idea of the source or even the nature of the problem.

This meeting started 10 minutes late. Jerry has his head down on the conference room table. Glenn, our “note taker,” is writing a long political piece on Facebook while my manager tries to rein in people who are having side conversations about the drama in this year’s Oscars. Can we just get this meeting started already? What are we talking about anyways? I literally have no clue what we’re meeting about. The only agenda item said, “Discuss important matters.” At least we got something that resembles an agenda this time. Boy, do I have a lot of work to get done that I’m not doing as I sit here in my fifth meeting of the week. (It’s Tuesday.) This meeting has officially sucked my soul right out of me.