MICHAEL NASH

Q. What book (or books) have you gifted the most, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff, PhD. I believe that nearly everyone suffers from an overactive inner critic that keeps us from noticing our own inner-goodness, which results in so many of our own and society’s ills: Defensiveness, a blindness to our own biases and shortcomings, tribalism, criticalness toward others, resistance to change, a lack of empathy, and more. I am not and never have been a big workbook fan - I often find them superficial, corny and ineffective. This one surprised me. I’ve been spending about 30 minutes each morning reading and practicing the exercises, and in the past 6-months I’ve noticed myself becoming happier and more fulfilled. I’ve gifted this to about 12 people so far.

I also want to mention here “So You Want to Talk About Race” by Ljeoma Oluo. Our entire consulting team read this last year, and we’re still in the process of discussing and incorporating the learnings. Race is a difficult subject to talk about. This book gives all of us - both white people and people of color - language to engage in clear, constructive, and confident dialogue with each other about how to deal with racial prejudices and biases, and it’s helping us as team to make our trainings and coaching practices more relevant and effective.

Also anything by Barbara Kingsolver.

Q. If you could have one gigantic billboard with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Be open. Be curious. Be kind.

I believe that if most people practiced these three behaviors, the world would be changed. I’ve been practicing being open to what’s happening in the moment, instead of resisting and pushing back and trying to control things, and it has brought me much peace and, so I’ve been told, made me show up as a better man. It’s almost impossible to practice curiosity and be judgmental at the same time. Plus, it’s really fun to go through life wondering about and exploring other people, other places, other ideas and other perspectives. And of course, kindness…who doesn’t need more of that? I’m finding that when I practice empathy – seeing the world from another person’s vantage point – kindness comes naturally.

Q. What is an unusual habit or absurd thing that you love?

I love scaring my four children. A lot. I’ve hid under their beds at night, I’ve hid in their cars, I’ve jumped out from behind doors, etc. Please don’t call CPS. The problem is now they are all adults, and they are relentless. One of them is going to give me a heart attack, I’m sure. I’ve created monsters.

Q. In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I’m really surprised by this (because I’m a born skeptic about everything), but I started experimenting with a daily, brief meditation and mindfulness practice about four years ago, and it’s changed my life. I’ve become more centered, I’ve learned to live in the moment (at least more of the time) instead of stressing about the past or the future, my empathy for others has increased, I’m less reactive and more at peace.

Q. In the last five to ten years, what have you become better at saying ‘no’ to (distractions, invitations, etc)? What new realization and/or approaches helped?

I’ve learned that it’s ok to decline invitations just because I don’t want to go. That’s it’s okay to proactively build margins into my life by keeping myself less busy.